Obamacare For Dummies! Pt 8/10 "Time To Sharpen Your Clause"

This is Legislation...


...on the unsuspecting minds of the American public.
This entire 2010 Affordable Care Act poses a genuine statutory assault not just on our healthcare system, but it threatens one of the core institutional relationships this country values most.
Hidden deep within the darkest recesses of these reform laws, is a covert plan to implement a type of "Lavender" legislation.
REVEALED HERE ARE THE FORCES...








You heard it straight from the wrong side of history, folks.
We're all headed down The Glory Hole of Homo-Healthcare!
This is a surprise package of a different stimulation, designed to flood the hospitals, the clinics, and the pharmacys with a horde of openly Gay and Lesbian doctors!
Standing in the breach of this reform is a vast armada of GLBT activist physicians, poised to take over the entire national healthcare system, turning every routine proctal, gynecological, and prostate exam into a deviant lifestyles orientation ritual.
When seen in this new light, we now understand the lengthy objectives of this "Act" that was forcibly rammed down our Universal throats!
Open wide and say, "Ahhh"
Does it hurt when I do this?
The Doctor is "In"
All will take on new meaning!


*And if persistant swelling appears in any orifice for 4 straight hours, call your physician immediately and have him remove his penetrating insight.

Obamacare For Dummies! Pt 7/10 "$weet Dreams Are Made Of This?"

That's correct, my Libertarian Liberty Seekers, the main focus of OBAMACARE is a "Behind-Closed-Doors Death Panel Revue", that aims for nothing less than an Aspyxial Arrest during the great sleep of our own





THE AMERICAN DREAM! That wonderous all-consuming fantasy of never-ending consuming!
THE AMERICAN DREAM! Our Collective Consumer Chimera, extolling the virtues of The Unfettered Free Market Forces!
THE AMERICAN DREAM! Which feeds our GDP Dreamland with an Unrestrained Supply-Side Religiousity of Pharmaceutical Corporate Chemical Compounds!
THE AMERICAN DREAM! Provides us with the raw materials of FREEDOM and LIBERTY, the very cures for all that ails us!
THE AMERICAN DREAM! Forget the cures, how about another round of Ales!
These are all the ingredients of Our Cherished American Dreams, designed to make us
Feel The Right Way!
With The Right Things!
The Real Things!
The Real American Thing!

Obamacare For Dummies! - Pt 6/10 "I Can Get It For You Hole Sale"

...And, as opposed to retail constitutional sodomy, this very idea, the very scope of which is SO unnatural, SO unbelieveably large and SO graphic and SO easy to Google up or find in the Casual Encounters section on Craigslist, and SO, should give us all pause as it will SO surely lead us all to go down that inevitable


That's right, Ladies and Germs, this is a Double Dose of that slow-acting, powerfull, and potent poison pill of...



Socialized Medicine! Which is only one Goose Step away from the slippery slope that leads to Fascism, which undermines the Family Values and Freedoms espoused by our previous Fondled Fore-Fathers. And let us not forget our Foreplayed Fore-Mothers, who had the Forethought to lay their Forehands on the aForementioned Forefather's Foreskins. Who, by the way, Four scored with the hired help when no one was looking.
All of whose sacrifices guaranteed us the rights to pursue Life, Liberty, and the Pleasures of Cosmetically Enhanced Supply Side Happiness.
As demonstrated here, by this legislative re-Peeling Health Spending Hot-Body, who ably illustrates the evils and ills of swallowing any policy that is not prescribed by anyone other than only the most telegenic of professional prevaricators our trusted our radio and television airwaves have to offer.

"America By Rote" by Wasilla Rose Lee

The National Tease Party is proud to present "America By Rote" the groundbreaking new publication by that literary flower of Alaska, Miss Wasilla Rose Lee.
"America By Rote" is a philosophic doctrine, providing an approach to the troubles of todays lamestream world. Drawing freely from her own influences (The Constitution, "Field and Stream" magazine, and the TV Guide's crossword puzzles) Mama Bare has ingenuously crafted a series of uplifting invocations for the contemporary marginally secular market.
In her longest section, "Milking The Present Moment" she offers up these life elevating affirmations:
" Don't Reflect, Rethink, or Reconsider. RELOAD!
"Less Marshall McLuhan. More Marshall Dillon!"
"Hold Your Truth To Be Self Evident, But Not In Public or I'll Have You Arrested!"
And what's sure to become the signature catchphrase of our digital frontier age, when addressing the concepts of the nexus between public policy and reality show celebrity:
"In The Future, Everyone Will Have Big Tits."

"America By Rote" is a highly personal testament to learning without meaning, with strong roots in the reality show aesthetic and is a forecast of our American Exceptualism. Ranging widely over American history, culture, and current events, Wasilla Rose Lee gives REAL Americans a set of values and principles to easily commit to memory, and these same values and principles that will continue to influence the spending and viewing habits of REAL Americans for future generations.

Obamacare For Dummies! Pt 5/10 - "Tyrannousaur Us Wrecked 'Em"

Is it Freedom to give us "Equality" while at the same time robbing us, the electorate, of our guaranteed constitutional rights to indolence, avarice, consumption, and greed?
No, my phallo-manic friends...





Because as REAL Americans, we all know that information, intelligence, and critical thinking are concepts that are imposed on folks like you and me, by those egg-headed, diploma wallpapered higher-ups in their Ivory Toweled Institutions of Hired Learning.
So now it is up to WE and WE alone, to be ever vigilant and always wary of the creeping Tyrannical vine of Institutional Intellectualism!
It is WE who can just as easily NOT pay to think for ourselves!
It is WE who must free ourselves of the Tyranny of these "Schools of Thought".
It is WE who know that schools aren't about thinking, schools are about good grades!
It is WE who must be willing to reject the Tyranny of "Cultural Elitism".
It is WE who don't need culture, because WE have Television!
It is WE who know these truths to be self evident -
It Is
WE THE PEOPLE
OF THE PEOPLE
& BY THE PEOPLE
And By The Way,
BUY, BY, BYE!
WE WHEE WHEEE
All the way Home!
And in the spirit of our founding Foreclosures, who freed us all from the Tyranny of the Thinking Elites, it is WE who must reject those very people who would like nothing more than to have us all spend the rest of our lives in a publicly funded state run "Mental Institution".
College Indeed!

Obamacare For Dummies! Pt 4/10 "Freedom From Wont"

Legislation of this sort is Apocalyptic in nature, potentially cataclysmic, setting off a series of events, my righteously imbecilic brethren, a chained reaction that always starts with a






That's right, Einstein, I said
FREEDOM!
And I'll say it again,
FREEDOM!!
Because it bears repeating! And if you say it often enough it repairs beatings, and beating things into the ground is the very foundation this great nation's constitutional framework was constrained upon.
FREEDOM!!!
It's that dog whistle catchphrase sweeping the nation that gets Tease Party loyalists drooling, wanting to sit up and beg at the sound of their master's voice!
WOOF!
FREEDOM!!!!
But, it's our very FREEDOMS that are at risk with this subversive CARE package, designed like a 5th Column Rubber Trojan Horse, bouncing thru both houses of congress and dribbling out into our collective national noggins!

Obamacare For Dummies! Pt 3/10 "The Revenue Revue"

...The Un-derpinnings of this EX-travagantlt EX-traneous EX-stremism, is an Un-derhanded Un-American attempt to Un-do, Un-dermine, and Un-derwear the very foundations of our In-divisibly In-glorious and In-bred Un-derachieving lifestyle and life's blood by way of a systematic and socio-pathic








That's Moolah, Cha-Ching, Dough-Re-Me, Fatso-Latte-Dough, and Heavy Coinage Johnny Cash!
We're talking about MONEY!
My Money, your money, Show Me The Money Shot, Honey and make mine a double!
And this (Hell) "CARE" of a package is an attempt to rob each and everyone of you on the back of that Flatbed Turnip Truck you all just fell off of!
This is low ball legislation, and it's
Anti-American
Anti-Entrepenurial
Anti-Free Market
Anti-Flea Market
Anti-Histimine
Anti-Capitalist
Antie Mame
Remember The Mame!And in solemn remembrance of the maimed, it's high time we all Antied Up!

OBAMACARE FOR DUMMIES - Pt 2/10 "The Curtain Rises"

..We turn the spotlight over to the one Practical Nurse we all want to practice on us, the RN whose RX sends people to the ER needing CPR and EKG's that go EIEIO, ladies and shareholders please rejoinder me in my natural proclivities by welcoming Nurse Ann Aesthetic!








That's correct my Phallacy Influenced Americans, higher premiums for each and everyone of us once the ranks of the I-D-O-Logically IN-sured are filled with hordes of the UN-Insured, UN-dernourished, OVER-fed,UN-employed, OVER-weight, UN-educated, ILL-legal, and ILL-logical!
Yessiree, all you ZEN-ophobic Zealsters, if any of that sounds familiar, it is, because here in the Ever-Endless Echo Chamber-of-Commerce that means you and me and anyone else who doesn't pay much attention to any medical advice unless it's given to you by a telegenic "Professional" or an entertainment "Specialist" whose been carefully vetted for radio echo-Chamber air time.

OBAMACARE FOR DUMMIES - Part 1/10 "The Opening Act"

...As The National Tease Party's one and only "Nurse Knockout", Ann Aesthetic, takes to the chalkboard and schools YOU, that Delightfully Delinquent Mob of the Unenlightened and Unwashed, in her own evocative and inimitable internet striptease style for a worldwide web-base Ta-Ta Tutorial entitled,





This will not be some ordinary, dull, dry eraser type lecture my Willfully Ignorant Electoral Status Seekers, but this is an EXTRA-ordinary performative informative narrative, an inaugural initiation into the issues upcoming in the fiscal, and in some cases fistical, 112th congressional insane in-sessional year of 2011.





And assisting everyone's Favorite Pharmatonic Fantasy Come-To-Life, will be none other than The National Tease Party's very own Mascot of Masochism, the Perpetually Perpen-DICK-ular Patriot and Embodied Barometer of BOOB-atology, Treaddy, The Tease Party Trouser Snake.







So sit back and get comfortable my overly connable constituants, and get out your paper and sharpen your wits as well as those #2 pencils, cuz' your gonna' wanna' take down some of these here socially sour notes. Let's all pay our attentional deficit disorders to the mercurial and medicinal Miss Ann Aesthetic, THE medically bored and certifiably buxom "Old School Nurse" as she gives us all a a little sneak-peek at the shamelessy sensational shortcomings of the long national nightmare we in The National Tease Party like to call "Obamacare For Dummies!".