Supreme Justice GaGa and the "Monster Agenda" Ball

Here it is, you monster lovers of liberty and libido, the late summer blockbuster event we've all been waiting for to jolt and electrify the ever growing uneducated electorate among us - That midterm culture clashing conundrum of confusion, Supreme Justice Ga Ga and her all new "The Activist Monster" Ball!
We've heard the rumours, embraced the innuendo, and bought the conceptual farm (With standing room only!) so now it's time for outrageousness and faux indignation to take the stage, with this massively theatrical display.
That's right, it's everyone's favorite pop tart-of-the-moment, Supreme Justice Ga Ga, who's touring this great and wonderful land of ours, in an over the top production that's equal parts rock concert, Broadway musical, Strip Tease, and "The People's Court".
Bastardization never looked so much like the all american girl next door. (Justice of the PIECE indeed!)
So c'mon, pony up those hard earned tax cutting dollars of yours, and get in line to watch the honorable Judge Ga Ga interpret our constitution in her own inimitable and incandescent style.
And let me tell you, our first amendment may have never looked so smokin' hot, but it's her take on the 2nd amendment that's the real showstopper, as she sings a mash-up medley of hits from "Annie Get Your Gun" complete with a chorus line of dancing animal rights activists whom she hilariously mows down with a pair of AK-47s dual mounted on her bullet encrusted bustier.
Now that's judicial activism. Using the 2nd amendment to express the first.
Boom!!! Objectivism over ruled!
And it all comes to a spectacular climax when our lovely Lady Justice comes down off her bench stripped of her robes (Holy Court of Ap-Peal Batman!) for the finale wearing only a blindfold, a sword, and her own judicious body of law while standing in front of a gigantic wedding cake, adorned on top by a real, live "Gay" couple.
How will Judge Ga Ga rule? Which way will the scales of jurisprudence tip when this jurist weighs in? Will she slice out a large piece of cake in matrimonial celebration for the lucky couple? Will she follow the rule of law and strike down the recent rulings as nothing more than a bad romance?
Stay tuned for for Justice ga Ga's ruling. She could be striking a whole new precedent.



And for a quick view of The National Tease Party line of merchandise for the Unwillfully Ignorant, just click the link below...

Come visit my store on CafePress!

Marshall Law & The All Male "Minuteman Revue"

My fellow Americans, if you stay awake at night pondering the possibilities of more man power on the border, than this here's a dream come true for you!
Freedom lovers, here's the answer to all your border security prayers, the end of all of your fears about breaches of national security, citizens, I give you the one and only, perimeter protecting, pervasively penetrating "Marshall Law and his All Male "Minuteman National Sovereignty Revue".
You'll sleep better at night knowing that this volunteer border watching bunch is all too happy to patrol the nation's rim, just itching for a chance to put the cuffs on anyone suspected of wanting to crossover in the dark of night.
Look Out Senator Craig!!!
And, what's more, this hot and sweaty, totally camped out, leather clad troop of 100% well regulated All American Beef is always out and looking, especially when it comes to looking out for new recruits!
Attention!!!
That's right Amigos, it's heads up, shoulders back, eyes straight ahead and listen to your commander, as the The Minuteman Revue is looking to deputize concerned Americans like yourself, especially for their all new Arizona CS-70 Chapter, who are currently in rehearsal for their hilarious upcoming Fall Campaign, "Breaching The Border and searching the Bottom Land: Submission Accomplished!"
So come get "Deputized" and get ready for some steamy MAN-euvers at the Minutmen's forward observation base, a secluded (And well furnished!)boot camp, located in the heart of the Arizona Desert. Nicknamed "The Triple B" (Borders, Bottoms, and Bootblacks) this is virtual paradise for rugged men who like to give new meaning to "Roughing It".
Ever vigilant, ever looking, ever patrolling the borders and always on the lookout for a few good men in the dead of night.
YUMMM!
Who ever thought handcuffs, barbed wire, uniforms, and patriotism in the desert heat could look so...hot!



And for a quick view of The National Tease Party line of merchandise for the Unwillfully Ignorant, just click the link below...

Come visit my store on CafePress!

Bon Mots For The Booboisie

Stand back Shakespeare! Sit down Joyce Carol Oates! Put down "The Oddysey" Homer, and treat yourself to the "Towering T(w)eats" of our own leading lady of abbreviated letters, Wasilla Rose Lee.
Yesiree, if English is a living language, than this powerhouse of acronymical prose is truly giving us a lesson in "Body English" that's sure to raise the pulse rate of even the most hardened of fossilized phalluses.
YOWCH!!!
Lame stream media is now officially out and socialized media is the new in. Witness WSR's daily Facebook and Twitter accounts, showing us that 2,345,267 followers might be illiterate, but they can't be wrong!
"Mama Bare" as WSR likes to be called, keeps us all updated with her LOL micro-blogging take on the world around us. Her unique body language has already given us verbiage like "Refudiate", "Misunderestimate", "Apprehensilate", and the ubiquitous "Masterintellectualate" (Take that Katie Couric!)
Aye Yi Yi, the cyberspiels of this woman have made their way into the pubic domain!
But the "Coupe De Gracias" (Hey, English only please!) is her latest multi-social media performance piece, a Twin Towers 9-11 salute entitled "Mosque(Ow!) On The Hudson" wherein Mama Bares her linguistic all in a tea bag twirling tasselicious tease fest (Done to "I'm Proud To Be An American") while simultaneously tweeting and having her posts projected across the NYC skyline.
There won't be a dry meme in the house!


And for a quick view of The National Tease Party line of merchandise for the Unwillfully Ignorant, just click the link below...

Come visit my store on CafePress!

Blaze Bombchele, Caucus Head

That's right citizens of this great nation of ours, everyone's favorite constitutionalized redhead, that incendiary isotope of insurmountable insur-erectionalism (Emphasis Mine!) is at it again, heading up the newest, the boldest, the biggest, and badassingest Caucus on the Blockus!
Yessiree, it's now official, as your Tease Party Nation has a voice in 'Da House, and this Caucus is "Headed Up" (Pun Intended!) by none other than our very own House Hotcha', Blaze Bombchelle! (Recently voted 2010's "Hottest Congressional Seat" by 10th Amendment Magazine)
"I'm sooo here to represent" the Bomber coos to the faithful, "I'm not a mouthpiece, I'm not an earpiece, I'm just the total piece".
And what a piece of work she is, as witnessed in her new bubble dance master-piece entitled, "I'm Dreaming Of A White Caucus (Tokens Accepted)", a phantasmagorical spectacle aiming to please and tease that coveted below the beltway, "I'm as mad as Hell" demographic.
Next up for the pyromaniacal redhead, it's a-rousing, carousing, lose-your-mortgage-on-your-housing, tour de force campaign showcase for the home district. That's right Rubios, go git Pa, go git ma, the kids, Grandma, Grandpa and all your cousins and neighbors and come on down to the rally this weekend, 'cuz Blaze Bombchelle's gonna knock the bumpers off the Turnip trucks your all coming in on. It's EE-rection time, and we need our base to come out Schwingin' as our mascot Treaddy likes to say.
Hmmm... I'm thinking somebody's "Pole" numbers are coming to a head!




And for a quick view of The National Tease Party line of merchandise for the Unwillfully Ignorant, just click the link below...

Come visit my store on CafePress!

Your Healthcare Hottie, Nurse Ann Aesthetic!

Whoooa! Now here's one practical nurse showing us a public option we can all get behind.
Ann Aesthetic (AKA Nurse Knockout) has the perfect prescription for any flagging economy. What better stimulus for your package than to have this legislative Hot-Body administer her one-and-only "Viagra Follies" spongebath and bedpan routine, the only burlesque number that comes with a medical disclaimer (In the event of an economic stimulus lasting more than 4 quarters, seek immediate medical information on talk radio)
As the star of last summer's hit touring roadshow, "I went To A Hockey Game And A Town Hall Meeting Broke Out" everyone's favorite (re)Peeler is back at it this fall with her hilarious revue, "Kill The Billing Department! Adventures in Electile Dysfunction".

And for a quick view of The National Tease Party line of merchandise for the Unwillfully Ignorant, just click the link below...

Come visit my store on CafePress!
Hubba-Hubba Healthcare. Premiums won't be the only things rising this fall.

Our Mascot Treaddy, The Tease Party Trouser Snake

A true Snake-In-The-Grassroots figure, mascot Treaddy has become nearly ubiquitous, as his appearance on flags, t-shirts, stage, screen, and cable news outlets only goes to show that this truly is a Tease Party Nation!
Our Treaddy is a creature of pure political pleasure and instinct. His reptilian brain acts like a seismographic Tease-O-Meter, sending kundalini like spasms shooting up and down his serpentine spine whenever his priapic patriotism is aroused.
Treaddy's other amazing ability is his constitutionally enhanced unhingeable jaw, which gives him the superhuman capacity to swallow almost anything whole. (Look out separation of church and state, your about to disappear!)
This Trouser Snake might have a brain the size of a pea (And a split pea at that!) but he's not afraid to think for himself."I'm no expert, but the only survey I care about is the one that makes my pole number go up!!!".
That's our Treaddy, a true "Schwing" voter.

And for a quick view of The National Tease Party line of merchandise for the Unwillfully Ignorant, just click the link below...

Come visit my store on CafePress!

Blaze Bombchele And Her Amazing Bubble Dance...

Quick, somebody dial 911, 'cuz this Blaze is a 5 alarm fire!
Everyone's favorite Red Head is a media match that burns brightest when the cameras are rolling. Her pyrokinetic pyorrhea is just the spark that lights the fuse under the whole Tease Party movement.
LOOKOUT!!!
When this former beauty queen (Miss Representative 2006-2010) takes over the spotlight in in one of her infamous "Media Bubble Dances" you can hear a press agent drop, as she displays a deft and spellbinding take on cable news realiy.
Hubba-Hubba, yessiree, she's got a congressional seat we hope is up for grabs for years to come!




And for a quick view of The National Tease Party line of merchandise for the Unwillfully Ignorant, just click the link below...

Come visit my store on CafePress!