Monday, December 27, 2010

Obamacare For Dummies! Pt 8/10 "Time To Sharpen Your Clause"

Obamacare For Dummies

This is Legislation...

Dix Steele
...on the unsuspecting minds of the American public.
This entire 2010 Affordable Care Act poses a genuine statutory assault not just on our healthcare system, but it threatens one of the core institutional relationships this country values most.
Hidden deep within the darkest recesses of these reform laws, is a covert plan to implement a type of "Lavender" legislation.
REVEALED HERE ARE THE FORCES...

Obamacare For Dummies


Obamacare For Dummies!

Obamacare For Dummies

You heard it straight from the wrong side of history, folks.
We're all headed down The Glory Hole of Homo-Healthcare!
This is a surprise package of a different stimulation, designed to flood the hospitals, the clinics, and the pharmacys with a horde of openly Gay and Lesbian doctors!
Standing in the breach of this reform is a vast armada of GLBT activist physicians, poised to take over the entire national healthcare system, turning every routine proctal, gynecological, and prostate exam into a deviant lifestyles orientation ritual.
When seen in this new light, we now understand the lengthy objectives of this "Act" that was forcibly rammed down our Universal throats!
Open wide and say, "Ahhh"
Does it hurt when I do this?
The Doctor is "In"

All will take on new meaning!


*And if persistant swelling appears in any orifice for 4 straight hours, call your physician immediately and have him remove his penetrating insight.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Obamacare For Dummies! Pt 7/10 "$weet Dreams Are Made Of This?"

Obamacare For Dummies


Dix Steele
That's correct, my Libertarian Liberty Seekers, the main focus of OBAMACARE is a "Behind-Closed-Doors Death Panel Revue", that aims for nothing less than an Aspyxial Arrest during the great sleep of our own

Obamacare For Dummies

Obamacare For Dummies

THE AMERICAN DREAM! That wonderous all-consuming fantasy of never-ending consuming!
THE AMERICAN DREAM! Our Collective Consumer Chimera, extolling the virtues of The Unfettered Free Market Forces!
THE AMERICAN DREAM! Which feeds our GDP Dreamland with an Unrestrained Supply-Side Religiousity of Pharmaceutical Corporate Chemical Compounds!
THE AMERICAN DREAM! Provides us with the raw materials of FREEDOM and LIBERTY, the very cures for all that ails us!
THE AMERICAN DREAM! Forget the cures, how about another round of Ales!
These are all the ingredients of Our Cherished American Dreams, designed to make us
Feel The Right Way!
With The Right Things!
The Real Things!
The Real American Thing!


Obamacare For Dummies

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Obamacare For Dummies! - Pt 6/10 "I Can Get It For You Hole Sale"

Obamacare For Dummies

Dix Steele
...And, as opposed to retail constitutional sodomy, this very idea, the very scope of which is SO unnatural, SO unbelieveably large and SO graphic and SO easy to Google up or find in the Casual Encounters section on Craigslist, and SO, should give us all pause as it will SO surely lead us all to go down that inevitable

Obamacare For Dummies
That's right, Ladies and Germs, this is a Double Dose of that slow-acting, powerfull, and potent poison pill of...

Obamacare For Dummies

Socialized Medicine! Which is only one Goose Step away from the slippery slope that leads to Fascism, which undermines the Family Values and Freedoms espoused by our previous Fondled Fore-Fathers. And let us not forget our Foreplayed Fore-Mothers, who had the Forethought to lay their Forehands on the aForementioned Forefather's Foreskins. Who, by the way, Four scored with the hired help when no one was looking.
All of whose sacrifices guaranteed us the rights to pursue Life, Liberty, and the Pleasures of Cosmetically Enhanced Supply Side Happiness.
As demonstrated here, by this legislative re-Peeling Health Spending Hot-Body, who ably illustrates the evils and ills of swallowing any policy that is not prescribed by anyone other than only the most telegenic of professional prevaricators our trusted our radio and television airwaves have to offer.


Obamacare For Dummies

Monday, December 13, 2010

"America By Rote" by Wasilla Rose Lee

The National Tease Party

The National Tease Party is proud to present "America By Rote" the groundbreaking new publication by that literary flower of Alaska, Miss Wasilla Rose Lee.

"America By Rote" is a philosophic doctrine, providing an approach to the troubles of todays lamestream world. Drawing freely from her own influences (The Constitution, "Field and Stream" magazine, and the TV Guide's crossword puzzles) Mama Bare has ingenuously crafted a series of uplifting invocations for the contemporary marginally secular market.
In her longest section, "Milking The Present Moment" she offers up these life elevating affirmations:
" Don't Reflect, Rethink, or Reconsider. RELOAD!
"Less Marshall McLuhan. More Marshall Dillon!"
"Hold Your Truth To Be Self Evident, But Not In Public or I'll Have You Arrested!"

And what's sure to become the signature catchphrase of our digital frontier age, when addressing the concepts of the nexus between public policy and reality show celebrity:
"In The Future, Everyone Will Have Big Tits."

"America By Rote" is a highly personal testament to learning without meaning, with strong roots in the reality show aesthetic and is a forecast of our American Exceptualism. Ranging widely over American history, culture, and current events, Wasilla Rose Lee gives REAL Americans a set of values and principles to easily commit to memory, and these same values and principles that will continue to influence the spending and viewing habits of REAL Americans for future generations.

The National Tease Party

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Obamacare For Dummies! Pt 5/10 - "Tyrannousaur Us Wrecked 'Em"

Obamacare For Dummies

Dix Steele
Is it Freedom to give us "Equality" while at the same time robbing us, the electorate, of our guaranteed constitutional rights to indolence, avarice, consumption, and greed?
No, my phallo-manic friends...

Obamacare For Dummies



Because as REAL Americans, we all know that information, intelligence, and critical thinking are concepts that are imposed on folks like you and me, by those egg-headed, diploma wallpapered higher-ups in their Ivory Toweled Institutions of Hired Learning.
So now it is up to WE and WE alone, to be ever vigilant and always wary of the creeping Tyrannical vine of Institutional Intellectualism!
It is WE who can just as easily NOT pay to think for ourselves!
It is WE who must free ourselves of the Tyranny of these "Schools of Thought".
It is WE who know that schools aren't about thinking, schools are about good grades!
It is WE who must be willing to reject the Tyranny of "Cultural Elitism".
It is WE who don't need culture, because WE have Television!
It is WE who know these truths to be self evident -
It Is
WE THE PEOPLE
OF THE PEOPLE
& BY THE PEOPLE
And By The Way,
BUY, BY, BYE!
WE WHEE WHEEE
All the way Home!
And in the spirit of our founding Foreclosures, who freed us all from the Tyranny of the Thinking Elites, it is WE who must reject those very people who would like nothing more than to have us all spend the rest of our lives in a publicly funded state run "Mental Institution".
College Indeed!


Obamacare For Dummies

Friday, December 10, 2010

Obamacare For Dummies! Pt 4/10 "Freedom From Wont"

Obamacare For Dummies


Obamacare For REAL Dummies!
Legislation of this sort is Apocalyptic in nature, potentially cataclysmic, setting off a series of events, my righteously imbecilic brethren, a chained reaction that always starts with a

Obamacare For Dummies


Obamacare For Dummies

That's right, Einstein, I said
FREEDOM!
And I'll say it again,
FREEDOM!!
Because it bears repeating! And if you say it often enough it repairs beatings, and beating things into the ground is the very foundation this great nation's constitutional framework was constrained upon.
FREEDOM!!!
It's that dog whistle catchphrase sweeping the nation that gets Tease Party loyalists drooling, wanting to sit up and beg at the sound of their master's voice!
WOOF!
FREEDOM!!!!
But, it's our very FREEDOMS that are at risk with this subversive CARE package, designed like a 5th Column Rubber Trojan Horse, bouncing thru both houses of congress and dribbling out into our collective national noggins!


Obamacare For Dummies